Well, I’m a little embarrassed at my lack of blog posts I’ve made over the past couple of months. I can’t even really blame being busy. Other than moving into my apartment before Thanksgiving, I haven’t been near as busy as my life was in Ohio. I suppose it’s because every time the thought of writing a blog post came into my head, I was overwhelmed with where I would even begin to organize my thoughts. So here I am sitting in Panera listening to Christmas music, drinking some yummy coffee, looking out the window at the busy shoppers, not allowing myself to let another weekend pass by without giving an update for my friends, family, and any other readers out there. I don’t always succeed, but I try to keep the little details off of Facebook, so there are some things I’ll put in this post that may cause it to be a long one. I suppose that’s what I get for waiting six weeks to put together an update. I titled this post ‘To Be Honest’ because that is exactly what I am trying to do. To be completely honest about how the past month or so has been. It’s been a bit more challenging than I had ever thought. So here it goes….
The major change since my last post on things I’ve learned about Texas is definitely my move into an apartment. I found a one bedroom place that is small, but the perfect size for just me. I was really looking for something with a better commute to work, and this place has it. And get this- it’s close to not one… not two… but THREE Starbucks. haha. Not even kidding. It really is in a good location with lots of restaurants and stores within walking distance. (But let’s be honest…… I will probably drive and not walk.) Because of the move, most of my November was filled with getting back to the ‘grown up’ life. Setting up utilities, really working out my budget, buying a couch, etc. And then there was the actual move. I’m still not completely settled to be honest. I still have some boxes I have been procrastinating going through, and my couch hasn’t even arrived yet. I do need to buy some small things like side tables, counter stools, and accessories. But that will happen over time. I don’t even have any pictures to post of my place because it is in no condition to be photographed.
The week after I moved hit me a little harder than I expected. Again, just being completely honest. It’s not like this is my first time being on my own. I haven’t lived at home with family since I was about 21. However, this was my first time actually living alone. Like, alone. No roommate, not even any friends right now to invite over. In addition to that, over the past five months I have lived with two different families while I made this transition. I guess I expected to be excited and ready to be back out on my own, but once reality hit me it felt different than I anticipated.
Despite these emotions I have felt, I have so enjoyed getting familiar with my new job. I am a nanny for a wonderful family in Dallas. They have a four year old boy and just turned two year old girl. (She turns two tomorrow, 12.14 actually.) There are easier days, and then there are of course crazy hard days. The first time Madelyne looked up at me and said in her sweet little voice ‘I love you’ I was set. Maybe one of my future posts will be a compiled list of things I have said at least 100 times a day.
I got to spend my Thanksgiving with my Texas family, the Zaksek’s. I was bummed that I missed out on spending it with family in Ohio and meeting my brother’s girlfriend in person, but FaceTime truly is an amazing thing! I did get to experience the tradition of the Zaksek Thanksgiving pilgrim coloring contest.
The day after Thanksgiving I did not go black Friday shopping. I did, however, go to one of many high school playoff games at At&T stadium in Arlington. The stadium is beautiful, and going to a game there, even for high school, was an experience. I went to multiple games there before Allen High School got eliminated in the semi finals. Go Eagles!
I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I have been out of Ohio for going on four months. I have been experiencing all sorts of emotions related to home sickness, especially since I moved into my apartment. Don’t get me wrong, I love it down here in Texas. The weather, the friendly people, being able to explore a new place. But in keeping with the honest theme, there hasn’t been a day this month where the thought of ‘should I have stayed in Ohio?’ crossed my mind. I wouldn’t necessarily call it regret of my move, but a deep desire to be with my friends that I miss oh so much. In Ohio, although I didn’t see them as much as I liked, I did have such an amazing circle of friends. I also had a job that connected me with so many amazing people on a weekly basis. With new adventure comes big change, and I am in the stage where I am really missing what/who I left behind. Getting away from the ‘rearview mirror’ mentality and focusing on what’s ahead can be difficult for me when there is so much I left behind that I love. I know many people who have picked up and moved to a different state, but only one of those people (other than myself), were a single 20 something young woman. All the others had a spouse/family with them, family in the location they were moving, etc.
All in all, my trip to Ohio coming up will hopefully do good for my soul. I am praying that the mild December up north will hold out while I am there. Maybe I just need to see my family and friends that I’ve been missing so much. Texas sure is a lovely place, and I know I need to continue finding my place here. I do have every intention of posting a couple more times before the year’s end, especially about the fun my Ohio trip will bring me.
Until then, have a wonderful Christmas! less than two weeks away, y’all!
God is good. I am blessed. Go Buckeyes!